Sunday, March 27, 2005

Drunk Baby

My last post was a little dark; I must be in a mood. Anyway there are some hilarious stories from the news too, and all tragedy is funny when it happens to someone else. Every once in a while I like to share some of the most hilarious stories with you – There is one of my favorites – and it goes a little something like this:

Drunk Baby

A good part of our crime news, (indictments, arrests, charges, busts, etc) come from press releases sent out by local law enforcement agencies. So it was a press release from police from a neighboring city. The release was about a father who was arrested after his toddler, was brought to the hospital with a massive B.A.C. Again most readers would say- that’s terrible! That poor baby! Its poor under developed kidneys and brain! Put away your pitchforks and torches the baby was fine. That’s also not what is hilarious, it’s the parents that are funny. The kids parents are split – so super dad picks the kid up for his visiting time. Takes the kid over to his buddies to watch football. So far so good. So the buddy and the dad start knocking back brews – good way to spend a Sunday right? So the little tot starts mimicking dad, and picks up a beer – and goes to take a swig. Dear old dad lets the kid have a sip – and that’s all – or at least that’s his story for the police.

So dad drops off the bundle of joy and mom finds her kid, “ smelling like alcohol and acting all drunk.” So she takes it to the hospital. Doctors then find the super high B.A.C.

What do we find? To get the kids B.A.C up as high as it was – it would take one and a half to two beers to get the baby’s blood alcohol up. Sip my ass. But a little kid still is standing after two beers? I know kids in college who couldn’t drink to beers. Dad gets arraigned on child endangerment charges – and then shuffled into the court system.

He has my vote for parent of the year.


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