No Signs of Visual Trauma – or – Why I Hate Cayuga County Sheriffs

Let the record show that as of April 12, 2005 I have officially been employed for one full year in the real world. Let me reiterate – I still love my job. However every now and then an ugly fact rears its head. This weekend was one of those times. To start – if you are squeamish about satire, irony, and humor dealing with human suffering then stop reading right now (of course if you are you probably wouldn’t really be reading this anyway). So lets get started. We need to flash back to Sunday morning. An eight and thirteen year old come home to find their parents dead. They call police. Media come out to find a wall of silence surrounding the case. The family wont talk, neighbors say they are a quiet family off camera but clam up as soon as the red record light goes on. No one knows what is going on and no one is talking. Cayuga County Sheriff’s eventually they say they are investigating the case but have found no signs of trauma. Authorities say the couple were not stabbed or shot – nothing telling on the bodies.

Media begins to hypothesize: Carbon Monoxide? Murder-Suicide? It’s a long shot but synchronized heart attacks or strokes? Questions begin piling up. People stop talking. Fast forward to Monday. Reporters from all four stations are in the tiny town of Aurelius hitting the pavement working the authorities nothing all day. Just after five o’clock after live hits and top of the shows – Sheriff Rob Outhouse (real name), gives us an empty sound bite – saying they are still investigating and autopsies are still being done.

So Monday’s a wash lets head to Tuesday. Tuesday we are hesitant to send a crew out because of what happened Monday. So we wait – and as the afternoon begins to creep up and we inch closer to 5 authorities say they are holding a press conference. So we fly out to Auburn – where the Cayuga County Sheriff’s headquarters are – what do we find out? They are holding a news conference at five on the dot.

Nothing like making it easy on the news folks…thanks Cayuga County.

So many take the news conference live. Ok – no problem. So what do we find out – the couples death was ruled murder-suicide, according to autopsy results. Husband strangled his wife and then committed suicide by overdosing on a combination of prescription and over-the-counter drugs. Sheriff Outhouse then continued to say husband duct-taped a plastic bag around his head before he died.

So lets refresh. Husband was found with empty pill bottles somewhere and I’m sure deputies no matter how inept could miss the bag and duct-tape around his head. Granted what killed him probably need an autopsy. So I can forgive the lack of information about husbands’ untimely demise. However – the wife is where I start to have the problems. Something happens when you strangle someone. Strangling anyone even a small woman takes strength – and leaves bruises. If you do it by hand or with a rope or piano wire will leave a mark – which is what? Let me remind you a visible sign of trauma.

Poorly time news conferences – piss poor information and just treating the media like crap – way to go Cayuga County.

Just to show you what it really means when there is no signs of trauma let me give you an example from today – Wednesday April 13^th. This morning a man is walking his dog on the West side of Syracuse – and his dog goes nuts and jumps into a drainage basin. What do they find there but a body! So police are called in and the investigation starts. Rumors spread – though the body by smell factor alone has most likely been there a few days. No one is reported missing with his description most people lean towards transient, hobo, bindle bum, what ever you want to call him. On his body there are no signs of trauma since he most likely got drunk and fell in the basin and died. No bag on his head no knife wounds, no strangulation bruises on his neck no bag on his head no signs of trauma.

Officers just think before you speak – especially when we have it all on tape.