Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Sky Sharks - 0r – Follow Me Down the Food Chain

So life sucks. Work sucks, stress sucks, love sucks, or your lover doesn’t suck enough, but you know how it is. Everyday it’s the same thing, get up shower go to work go home, sleep, get up repeat. Now imagine if there was another animal up the food chain. A Sky Shark five thousand pounds 12 feet long and three thousand razor sharp teeth, and wings. They move gracefully through the skies and swoop down snatching unsuspecting people off the street like a fat man going down on a buffet. It turns a boring commute into a daily dose of cheating death.
You would come running into work sweat running down your face panting and your boss would say: “Well Bob I see you made it to work today – guess there is a hungry sky shark out there this morning. Hope he didn’t get his teeth on those TPS reports! Ha!” Then he’d eaten by a flying crocodile, because that’s the way my world would work.
Just imagine if there were giant squid in the sewers. Your just walking down the street thinking about how much your home life sucks and a huge tentacle come out a storm drain and drags you to your death. It would sure as hell make you appreciate making it home – who cares if your dinner’s as cold as your wife, or the house is a mess or there’s a sink full of dirty dishes you made it home safely without getting attacked by a giant squid.

Get fired? – Still not lunchmeat for a pack of wild baboons.

Got Dumped? – Good chance your significant other could become an appetizer for a grizzly while trying to drag all of their stuff out of your apartment.

Gas Three dollars a gallon? – well it beats walking where you could be a target for blood thirsty street eels.

Life would be sweet if every day you really put things in perspective. Even though there isn’t a blood thirsty Sky Shark looking to snack on you doesn’t mean you can’t live that way.


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